Today my Pdoc worked me in because of oh the whole useless ER trip.

He upped my Lithium to 1200mg a day, Just in hopes it will somehow help. My T also worked me in for a hypnotherapy session .. I coud not calm down enough. 2 hours we tried this.. I just broke down in tears sobbing. My pain is just overwhelming.. Im angry at the world, I was literally screaming at my TV today. My husband got home and I told him I am in a rage and hating to world .. I feel out of control, loads of cutting . I want to just die and get it over with. I should have just hit that tree doing as fast as my car can go.. I have taken at least 6 1mg Xanax .. I see its helping nothing.

every part of me in screaming because of this unrelenting pain .. I hate my life.