I've never been a worldly person... A lot of the things I do are largely routine and don't require much thought to do. I guess this became a social problem for me. I've never really felt like people could trust me. My family never did. They were behind me but I felt they never really trusted me. They just let me go because I was 18. I find myself in a lot of situations that I can't handle well - ones that maybe someone else could handle better. And because of this I normally don't get close to anyone.

I'm always saying things to people that make them feel uncomfortable or I act in a way that makes them feel as if they have hurt me and I always end up pushing them away somehow. It's never intentional but I always manage to do this. So I usually don't bother with friendship and things like that. I always nag about how important it is but I tend to avoid it. Whenever someone does get close to me and I manage not to tick them off I manage to get clingy and screw it up. One way or another I do something to hurt someone. I never physically harm anyone. But my actions and words are just so poorly chosen that I feel like I hurt everyone around me regardless of my intentions.

I don't want to hurt anyone but I feel like I don't know how not to in a way. It's hard for me to be natural because I'm always waiting to make a mistake. And whenever I let my guard down I end up hurting someone. I guess it's getting to the point where I don't even trust myself any more. There are a lot of good people here and out there and I don't want them to have to avoid me because I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know what to ask. It's a problem and I just don't know what to do about it. I'd be grateful for any help.