it sounds like there is no justice in what she (your ex) is doing to you. its not fair for her to use your son as a weapon to get at you for whatever reason. may i ask, how old is your son?

in time your son will want to know his dad, and she cant stop him doing that. a restraining order might be in place for a little while but when he grows up and wants to know his dad, how hard do you think it will be for her to stop him, it will be impossible. shes only making it worse for herself.

i know this might not help, but maybe you could use the time that you wont be spending with your son for a good cause. i mean, you could go to councilling/therapy, work on becoming healthier/happier, and it will help you realise your own dreams and desires. obviously your son will be part of that which is good, but it may be other things too. i hope im making sense, not sure i am!

sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can start the rise back up. you will bounce back, im sure of it. and your son will be waiting for you when you do too. it wont be a quick thing, it could take years. im sure you dont want your son to see you in this situation. so for a little while, try therapy and work your way out of depression etc. your ex may see the errors of her way soon enough and let you see him. you just dont know whats around the corner.

i wish you all the best and i really hope things work out for you. im sure they will soon enough.

take care and remember, we are all still here for you.

simon