Well, you have given me some food for thought tbh, how a person who cheated can regret just as much as the one they cheated on.

When I first heard the truth about my husband cheating, it just hit me so incredibly hard. I can't express how deeply hurt I was. I was also angry too and I wanted to have someone else to fill that void in me. I not only felt betrayed by my husband, but by my best friend that I had in him too. Not to mention that I thought about how he also could have exposed me to some kind of serious STD.

I don't think you deserve to carry this "guilt" forever though. You have to find a way to "forgive yourself" and finally make peace with the fact that while you hurt two people, you have to respect that it is just too hard for him to "trust" you that way again. As you mentioned, you would have been just as hurt if he had done it to you.

Unfortunately, your ex cannot be inside your head to see how much you truely regret your mistake either. He is only capable of feeling his own hurt and sense of loss. I think it would be easier for me if I could be inside my husbands mind where I could know his real thoughts too. Instead I have to "trust" in what he says, and because "trust" was broken so deeply, it is extremely hard to "know how to trust" so deeply again.

Two years is not very long because for most of that you probably had alot of "hope" that perhaps your ex could have found a way to forgive you. So, really you have come to a point where you have to finally "accept" that he has made a new life with someone else. And you also have to realize that "loving someone" also means allowing that person to be "happy" too.

The fact that you "do" feel guilty about this means that you can still be a loving "true" partner to someone else, and respect them in a deeper way. It would not be good if you didn't really feel the guilt and loss because that would mean you may never have another "real love relationship friendship".

So, know that you gave your ex time to think about what he wanted and that he has made his decision. You have to now "let go" and finally move on, forgive yourself, learn from this, and allow yourself to move on.

Open Eyes