Now that I have been resting my foot and getting some in some good naps, I feel less overwhelmed. Unfortunately, though, I feel incredibly angry it actually embarrasses me to write / post that. The severe anxiety has definitely subsided, but it has been replaced by anger.

I am angry with my family for all the promises they've made to me ... were them just talking out of their @$$es. Hot air.

I am angry for them getting my hopes up even a little, only to go back on their word. Or not following through.

I am angry that they put me in this position in the first place. From wayyyyyy back and continuing their bull**** even when I recently was at my lowest point.

I am angry that they pretend to care, but it is simply for appearances. They dont really mean it. Or they did at the moment, got completely self-absorbed again, and conveniently forgot.

I feel hatred and anger towards them.

I also am absolutely disgusted with the way some people behave at the office. How they take advantage and could care less. How I feel used and abused. They KNOW what they are paying me is unlivable, ridiculous and insulting but they just dont care.

I think what can I do to improve things...I have tried at the office in everyway possible short of retaining counsel. Or leaving. I have nowhere to go, though.

I dont want to get into another predicament with another firm, my foot injury too is an issue at least for another couple of months until I can get moving and present myself properly (literally) and I want to / need to get my mental health issues in order, as well.

I am angry and frustrated and need help. My parents have a 6000+ sq ft home and a couple of extra bed sets which they offered me (i really need a new matress) and they forgot. My tv died and they have extras thst are just sitting around in storage but they do nothing. My brother promised me help but he blew it off. Money means nothing to him and wouldnt make a dent. He wouldnt even notice. He went skiing with his bimbo in Canada, while I waited. Nothing came. He blew it off.

I am just angry right now. And I hate. Hate is a wasted feeling but I do feel hatred. *damn them*