I'm thankful that my son has turned out as well as he has. Top grades, ranked 35th fastest runner in N.y. and on his way to college. We make decisions as parents, hoping that we are doing the right thing at the time for our kids. I don't understand why the ex has continued to poison his mind against me after 15 years. I don't blame him. She is his mother, and kids need to feel they can count on someone. Not once have i ever said anything derogatory about her to him, and have always backed her decisions when it comes to him, hoping to provide a united front. I'm no saint, but I do believe getting him out of a bad situation via divorce before he would remember was the right thing. Its just heavy baggage. Last year I made under 11,000 before taxes, and over half of that went to child support. There will be no porch or anything else for that matter. I have no retirement, no savings, insurance premiums over five hundred a month out of pocket which I can't give up because of health issues. The whole thing is a mess. I keep thinking, all I did was make one mistake. I married the wrong person. She now makes at least three times what I do, has a house, is getting married again, full benefits, retirement etc. Now I find out that because we are divorced, the law requires that I pay for part of his college. With what?! My lawyer says it makes no difference that I've never missed a child support payment and have been paying extra for years. I'm very glad my kid is going to college, but in families without a divorce, if parents can't afford college, there are student loans. The law doesn't make them pay the tuition. How can they do that to divorced parents. I just don't get it. I love my son and want the best for him, yet he thinks I'm the bad guy who betrayed him and his mother and God knows what else she has filled his head with. I don't regret him. I regret bringing a child into a mess. All that extra money was supposed to be put aside for education. Instead, it went for fancy clothes for her, games for him. He was invited to train with the olympic candidates in lake placid. My ex ranted on about how I wasn't helping. I couldn't. He wound up going, but no one even told me. I sent her a congratulations note on her engagement, and she responded by telling me I wasn't giving them enough money! How did I ever let myself be so stupid.

Sam2