Your ex sounds a lot like mine. This is probably going to be a very unpopular statement, but as a society, I think people expect the father to be the one who causes the trouble, messes around on the wife, skips out on child support. The laws are still archaic, favoring the mother. I'm sure there are guys who are jerks, but it kind of leaves a stain on us.

Children should never be used as weapons against an ex spouse. It sounds like that is what happened to you. Very rarely do the kids have anything to do with the divorce. (when a child dies or is abducted parents sometimes split from the pressure, but even then it isn't the child's fault). The one truly innocent party in a divorce is the kids. They shouldn't have to pay like that.

I hope your son will understand what you have told him and give you a chance to show that you really do love him and aren't a psycho. Its hard to explain things and not say anything negative about the mother. Even if you feel anger at the ex, speaking negatively about her to a child just makes things worse. kids believe their paren'ts. They have to. They are dependant on the custodial parent and will protect that relationship any way they can.

I hope things work out and the relationship with your son will be repaired. Losing a kid like that hurts. Relationships between child and parent change once the kid is grown, so hopefully at some point, you will be able to be completely honest with him.

Sam2