Warm welcome to you.

I don't have any real answers to help you with everything, but I didn't want your post to go ignored, so if ok, I shall just share some thoughts?

Sounds like you're still grieving for your poor dad. It's not been long has it? My partner lost his mum, also in May, and if you're anything like him, then its very raw still. And, after just 6 months, its bound to be isnt it? I bet it feels like yesterday.

My only advice I can say is to allow yourself to grieve. Do whatever you need to do. Sounds like you're doing grand with the children, but as they are young, perhaps you can do what you need to do when they're asleep or off to school/pre school? And in the mean time, please please be kind to yourself. Depression is a terrible thing, maybe go back to the doctor and look into other meds? And please do anything that gives you little lifts. Like a long soak in the bath, go for a walk where you like to walk, buy yourself a little something nice. Even watch a weepy movie, and let it all out. Just be kind to yourself, and please forgive yourself for feeling this way. Sounds natural what you're going through to me.

As for your marriage, how much of it is unhappy because of your depression? Not blaming you, as depression is an illness and its not your fault. But do you think that there is something worth saving? Have you ever considered couples therapy? I wonder if you could talk to your husband about everything, that it may be the start of a new fresh chapter and you guys may be able to work together, towards a happier marriage. This man who is ignoring you, tbh, he is not worth spending any more energy on, and imho, he sounds like a distraction. Anyone who's ignoring you like this, when you really do not need it, is not a man in my book. You're best to help yourself and try and work on your marriage before having embarking on something new. It wouldn't be fair on all of you.

I hope I've not said anything untoward, as I obviously do not know you, or the ins and outs.

Hugs to you, and take care.