(((hugs)))
Children do not come with guarantees, just because you did your best for them growing up, does not guarantee they will respect you when they are fully grown. your daughter and granddaughter are both adults, as such they are no longer your responsibility, they are responsible for themselves now. your responsibility lies with yourself and your husband.
[i cannot and will not take anymore from them,it's time for me and my husband now,to live our life,how we want to,without family getting in the way,we have no support from them whatsoever]
have you tried telling them this, it could be the jolt they need to be civil to you both, or the opening for you to part company.
good luck x