I would tell you that I'm real and not being controlled by a robot, but you probably think that I'm programmed to say that so, I'll just say this: I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. Your symptoms seem odd though, almost more like paranoia/psychosis, but I'm no doctor. I do, however, have OCD and have had experiences with psychosis, so I know how you feel/what it's like. You do seem to be obsessing over your thoughts, though, so I guess that's where the OCD comes in. I'm assuming you have a therapist, because you have a diagnosis, and I would definitely definitely talk to him/her about this ASAP. This isn't normal, and its rather worrisome. Again, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

How are you feeling now?

Keep posting.

Nomad