Hey james,

I'm sorry for what you are going through right now. I'm sure it feels like nothing is going right or in the time that would be your time. Just hold on, and know that things will happen in their own way but you will get what you need.

I just wanted you to know that I moved your thread to this Depression forum as I think you will get support than having it in the Other Mental Health Forum.

Just know that just because you are thinking of suicide, doesn't mean that you have to do it. You can accept the thought but bypass what it suggests that you do. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Take care of yourself right now and work on the other stuff when you are feeling better.

Take good care!
sabby