My daughter started with tantrums similar to what you described at 2 also. I knew it was not the normal terrible two behavior and took her to a therapist. After some time the psychologist told me she was ADHD and ODD and started talking medication which I refused. I am a stay at home mom and I just decided to deal with it. Well she is 5 now and in kindergarten. Within the first few days of school there were issues. Mainly that she can't focus and trouble getting starte and finishing her work. Well I decided to go to the psychiatrist and discuss medication. What we ended up doing was a very low dose adderal just 5mg in the morning and at noon and 2.5mg at 4pm. Immediately we all noticed an improvement at school which made it well worth it. My daughter calls her medicine her focus pill and will tell you real quick it helps her. Just recently the ODD behavior is getting worse and I am trying to figure out what to do. Just today it took forty-five minutes to get her to complete a five minute time out. She seems to have here episodes mainly when she is tired and they are always directed at me. Like yesterday she screamed and hollered and for the first time threatened to hit me with my own cane. Afterwards she shows remorse and tells me how sorry she is and if asked se says he doesn't know why she acts this way. We are moving soon and I Hope new surroundings including grandparents and other family and new psychiatrist and therapist helps.