Today has not been a good day

Well today after I finished class my brother picked me up. I got in and he asked me what I got for my math test, I told him 72% and he said that it was too low a score and I needed to improve on it. This I don’t have a problem and up to this point everything is fine.

Then he says to me, “well, if you’re getting a score like that on the first test then you’re going to need tutoring aren’t you?” I don’t respond to this because I perceive it as a rhetorical question and then he asks me again. Obviously by now I know it isn’t rhetorical but I still don’t respond because I know I could say “yes” but wouldn’t have the guts to arrange an appointment, and if I said “no” then he would probably flare up and say something nasty to me.

He keeps pushing me to answer but I’m frozen and at this point feel unable to respond. He then blows up and starts yelling at me, telling me what a loser I am and that I shouldn’t even be in school but a psychiatric institution instead. Then he smacks my face as hard as he can, proceeding to tell me how much of a failure I was at life. In his own words he says “I don’t care if you’re mentally sick, I don’t care that you’re sick in the head, that’s no f***ing excuse not to talk to people”. I don’t discuss anything with him, he has just made that assumption from the way I am.

Next thing I know he’s telling me to get out of the car in the middle of traffic and he reaches over to open my door. I push his arm away and he then gets off the freeway and stops, again asking me to get out and walk home. I refuse so he gets out of and physically drags me out of the car, tells me he better see me home in half an hour and drives off. When I was walking back I wanted to cry but couldn’t seem to get it out, this is the worst I’ve felt since I’ve been here.

There have been numerous other incidents and when I didn’t respond. It just so happens this was the first to occur since I found this site. I don’t know what to do and I haven’t felt this upset for a while. I’m even considering dropping out just so I go home and get away from my brother.