Do not hurt yourself. Go to the ER. They know how to help and you get the help immediately. Going on like this is no good. Witing dfor the upswing.
If you can't go this minuite, could ypou write down a list of things that will make you go if they come up? SI and suicidal thinking? inability to get out of bed?
Your most frightening symptoms?
Please go.
You are not alone.