I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister 5 years ago, and going through a divorce at the same time. It does get easier with time, believe it or not. As far as the guy goes, he doesn't deserve you. I know it's easy to say because I'm going through a breakup myself and even though I logically know it's the right thing to do and everybody tells me so, I still love the guy. We'll both grt through it.