There is literally no one to talk to, NO ONE. You all repeat thoughtlessly 'keep reaching out'- to whom? There is no one who would listen. Long time ago I lost hope to find a boyfriend or a friend, a soulmate but how come I, of all the people, have no one to talk to? Everyone have someone like that. What pisses me off, even my arch enemy Magda whom I wish all the worst. That ****ing **** is out there having fun with her friends and collegues while I'm talking to my cat. How come evil people who deserve to suffer for eternity have friends and lead a relatively happy life, hurting vunerable people around them? I've tried to find someone, I tried to contact a girl that is a suicidal cutter but apparently she was too busy talking to others and too happy to reply.

Therefore, although I know nobody reads that and nobody cares, I shall tell you how my mother ****ing pisses me off. I emptied the closets in my room that were filled with her old photos, old books and even older magazines and other crap. If I could, I would throw everything away, but I let her segregate the things. This made her ask me: 'Why are you doing this?', then crying and telling me I'm throwing her away. How I ****ing hate my mother. I promised her I would never clean anything in the house and let her rot among those useless old objects she refuses to throw away. When her mother died, she spent days sorting her things. I would spend ages cleaning after her death, so I really hope I would die first. Mothers are always the worst enemies.