Hmm, but I remember some of your other threads, and people tried to give you much thoughtful advice and ideas, others tried to reach out to be your friend, and others related. However you seemed to reject all the advice and ideas, and were not exactly friendly about it either. Yet they still kept trying. So with that in mind I am not really certain what you would like people to do?

I don't believe anyone needs to suffer for eternity. And I am going to agree with OpenEyes and others who have tried to say the same thing. It very might well come down to what you are putting off. Even in this thread you just put all mothers down, and yes you are clearly angry. But I am a mother, and if you say mothers are always the worst enemies.. can you see how that comes across to others? It made me feel like you already harshly judged me before I even came to this thread.

Same with calling everyone who has replied to you as thoughtless? You might not want to see it, but at this point you are likely creating your very own reality as a result of what you think about yourself and others.

How is anyone supposed to get close to you when you don't seem to want to let anyone in? If I see someone lashing out at people who did try to help whether or not it did help ( that part is up to you ), it makes me not want to reach out.. We have all been hurt, and none of us want to get our hand slapped for trying to reach out. Or be called the worst enemy simply because I am a mother? It makes it hard to reach out to you, because no one wants to hurt you by saying something wrong.

I hope you can try to see that no matter what has happened in your life up until this point that you really do have a choice in which direction it goes from there. Sometimes it's very hard to admit that we also play a role in things especially when they are not going how we want. But sometimes that is the very thing that needs to happen bring about change.

You are not a bad person, and you do not deserve to suffer. I don't know how to help you see it, but I know that is true. I know you are in pain, but it is not because everyone is out to hurt you. There are people out there who would want to be your friend, me included. But you have to learn to love yourself at least enough to see it.

I realize you might not agree with any of that. It really is meant as caring advice. I don't think that if I just tried to relate or just say "there there, it will change" would be very helpful or useful to you.

What I will say is that I am sorry that you were abused, I am sorry that no one was there for you, and I am sorry that you are hurting so badly. I do hope you can find a way to heal, to be kind to yourself and to be able to open your heart and let some others in. I do know it isn't easy. But I do beleive you can overcome all of this.

I do think people here do care, they do read it and they have tried to reach out to you, but I don't think you will see that untill you believe it yourself. You don't just seem to hate yourself, but also seem to feel the same for others as well, so how can people get close to you?