Having no one to talk to is more common than you may think... Anyway we treat others the way we treat ourselves. You want other people in your life and that is normal. But they will not make your life much better now. You so want other people to love you but you don't love yourself. You want to be loved and you know you deserve love - then why do you not give it to yourself?

You even have resentment towards the one that gave you life. I know not what she has done to you but know that you only get one. There are few women who's loss could bring a man to his knees.

But enough about other people because I don't think they are the worry. Right now it's important that you become more comfortable with yourself right now. You don't need other people to be happy. Friends are important and having a significant other can be amazing but you do not need them to be happy. What do you need? I don't know... But right now spend some time exploring yourself. Forget what other people think they know about you and stop believing the negative crap you heard. Stop judging yourself by what society says makes a person whole. Just discover yourself and really learn who you really are and look at the things you like and want to like.

And yes people here do hear you.