When I first started seeing T and things felt too intense, I'd dig my nails in to my palms, or scratch at my wrists. After the 3rd or 4th session in which I did this, I brought it up with T at the next session, and asked her if she would please ask me to stop if she noticed that I was doing it. T agreed to do so. If she catches me starting to self-harm during session, she asks me what has just triggered me, and we stop and talk about it.

I used to shake, and I still fidget during session. When I get shaky, I stop and take some deep breaths, and T asks me to just notice that I'm shaky, and we just focus on that for a few moments. I've found that once I pay attention to my body's reaction, it tends to fade away.

Since I still fidget, and probably always will, I bring things to keep my hands occupied. That also keeps me from harming myself. I will play with a ring, or my watch or a tangle toy. If I suddenly grab my tangle out of my purse in the middle of a session, T knows that things are getting stressful for me and she asks me what is going on. Sometimes, I just need something to play with, sometimes it's because I've noticed the urge to harm myself and need something else to occupy my hands with.