Hi and welcome. I hope that reading here will help you see that you are not alone in your feelings. Many people will resonate with what you have written here. When I was your age I wrote of very similar feelings, only in my journal since it was well before the Internet....And I remember how bad it all hurt. I was a missionary volunteer in Germany at the time, and everything that had to do with a social life was basically agony 90% of the time. People confused the hell out of me. I was undiagnosed and untreated for my depression and other mental health issues, too.
Hard times, definitely.
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