well i was doing good, nothing for a months and then i was thinking iwas better and i decided to be cute and put pins on my jeans to look all emo and then i got upset that day and ended up poking myself with them. than at school i kept stabing myself witha pencil- not that hard but enough to hurt. and last night i kept stabing myself in the arms with these little sharp pins we have. i don't conclude it as 'cutting' cause i never used a knife but it's still SI. I am also picking my skin off my thumbs and the back of my head involuntarily. it's like a baby sucks ont heir thumb to calm themself down it's jsut what i do. i don't normally notice it until i see that i am bleeding or until it really stings. i don't see what wrong if i just poke myself with pins to relieve sum stress. it really makes me feel better. i feel kinda ashamed having to write this post after doing so good, but i don't want it to get out of control like it did last time. i'm on new meds which are okay, but i still like to relieve my stress sumtimes. what are a couple red spots on my arms going to be? not really that noticeable and doesn't really scar? it's hard. i don't like discussing it with people i kno (well i enver had) cause i'm scared that i'll scare them away or tehy'll be hurt or they'll hate me. what's am i supposed to do? just keep up with this menial form of SI, cause I don't think i can bring myself to talk to anyone about it...