I'm depressed again but actually it's a continuation of the same depression I always have. The maddening thing, if I can use such a phrase, is that I know there's no reason to be depressed. My life has been complicated and sad for a very long time but I can also look at it from a slightly different vantage point and see that it's not that bad. But, unless I CONSTANTLY remind, cajole and badger myself into remaining at that vantage point I deftly slip back to the place where everything is awful. It's as if I have a choice between happy and sad and chose sad unless I keep myself under strict supervision at all times.