My children and I have battled to maintain some sort of relationship since their Dad asked me to leave the home in 2007 due to undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder. My son is now 23, has graduated college, and lives 2 hours away where he is employed full time and truly beginning his life. His latest text to me says, "Have you done what's necessary to make me feel that I was cared for no matter what? I will NEVER accept that it is both of our responsibilities (our relationship)...I will never accept the fact that me being a legal adult somehow negates the fact that I am your son and you are the parent. Wanting to be "treated as an adult" does not mean that I don't want you to take it upon yourself to make a relationship with me as any parent should."

Background is that I had a spotless reputation until stress of taking care of the family broke me in 2006. My ex had 12 jobs in 24 years of marriage, including two periods of unemployment and a failed business funded by my family and friends. Our kids were raised in church where I was on staff. I went on field trips with my kids, had large, themed-birthday parties for my kids, was active in PTA, and directed a kids choir at church.
My son usually made straight A's except he would make a C in Conduct.
This mainly came from verbal comments he would make in protest. He got in serious trouble one time at 15 when a group decided to break car windows. He paid a fine, did community service, wrote apologies, etc. He graduated Cum Laude from a private university.

Help me understand what he is saying and what to do about it. Please.