I feel you there, CE. I know how you feel, what you mean by it all. I say go for it really, though I know you aren't looking for answers from us just merely sharing. I too feel like an alien in a world not made for someone like me. It's incredibly difficult. and I also understand trying to provoke a certain emotion out of people because it's the strongest one you feel.. I'm having trouble changing this type of behavior in myself too. For me it isn't anger though- I hide from anger. I don't know if I can identify what emotions it is, but I know I feel the same.