hi RunningEagleRuns, please do not go back to being a druggie, look where it got you last time and how far you have come since then, you are worth more than that. Suicide is not an option worth trying, it only works when God wants it to, if it is not your time it will not work. trust me i know from much experience!

i am not in favour of churches of any religion as they harbour some of the worst people on earth, but if you feel you are getting support there then dig your heals in and continue going. i find however that there is life outside the church which gives the same if not more support. groups or clubs e.g soccer, fishing, knitting , book club, whatever you fancy, are all great sources of support and friendships if worked at.

give yourself permission to take a week or two of 'me time' step away from your routine and do things you have been wanting to do for ages, a walk through the park, paint the front door, visit an old non druggie friend, catch a movie etc, you will find the change as good as a vacation.

be kind to yourself you are worth it and have every right to take 'me time ' to catch up and reassess your situation.

Take care because we care about you x