I think it's really amazing how patient and kind people here are with each other. There is much to be learnt that you can take into the 'real world' bathany.
I understand your feelings of isolation but in the end we choose whether to bring more misery into the world or we choose not to. I think it's as simple and as difficult as that.

I hope you are able to make the choice that gives you the option to have a rich, rewarding life that adds value to both your own and others lives, I truly do.