I understand you worrying about is well being if you leave, with the problems he has but you are not equipped to deal with all his issues. You sound like you've given it your all and he has refused to get professional help and now it's out of your hands. As hard as it'll bee for you're kids, they'll be better off with you in the long run. Don't think they're not picking up on everything that's going on there. It's better for them to have at least one parent who's happy and healthy than 2 together who are miserable.