Hi, sadkoala...

I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad...I remember when I felt that bad, almost exactly a year ago. That's when I joined PC, too...there are some really great people here, and they helped me to do what I needed to do to start getting better. I was SO scared...I came within about a second of crashing my car...I went home instead, and somehow found this place, and I've been getting better ever since!

I'm kind of surprised at what your pdoc told you...I would expect them to suggest that you check yourself in to the hospital if you're serious about suicide. If you really think you could do this, you need to go to the ER ASAP...I know that's scary, too, but you just really have to. You've tried several times already...please just go to the emergency room, I'm really worried about you.

~Hugs~
DJ