I've been debating about whether or not it would be appropriate to post this here. I suppose that it ultimately does effect my moods, so I'll post.

I'm still not over the girl I mentioned in this thread: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=253905

I haven't seen her in a month, won't see her for at least three more, and am living on the other side of the globe. Despite all of this, I still love her.

I miss her.

When I'm with her, I'm happy. It's that simple, that beautiful.

My gut feeling says that she returns my feelings, but is too insecure with her sexuality to admit it.

But at the same time, she never makes any effort to contact me now that we're apart. I'm always the one calling her. Even if she doesn't have any romantic feelings for me, you'd think that our friendship would be enough for her to want to talk to me occasionally. We spent an entire semester seeing each other almost every single day.

I've never been this close to anyone outside my family.

I miss her.

I'm confused.

What should I do? Should I try dating other people? I want to love someone who wants a relationship with me, for once in my life.

When I was 14, I had a crush on a straight girl.

When I was 15, I developed feelings for a girl who was...well, 5 year olds would call her a "big meanie head"; at 21 I have other names for her.

When I was 16 I fell in love for the first time with a woman who was nine years older. I have ample evidence that she was/is attracted to me, but she is very religious, and married a man. (She did tell me once in confidence that if it hadn't been for their religion, they would have divorced. This was only about a year after her wedding).

I was 18 when Stephanie got engaged to her husband and I realized that I had to get over her. It took me 3 years. During that time, I had some minor crushes, but no intense feelings for anyone.

And now, at 21...the girl that I'm writing about now. I've never had feelings this strong before. I don't know what to do. Is it normal to be this unlucky in love? To spend nearly a decade of your life suffering from love that can't be returned?

Thanks for listening to me rant. I know that most of you have much bigger problems in your life than unrequited love. Romance is the only major ingredient for happiness that is missing from my life; I'm very fortunate to be where I am otherwise.