I understand where you're coming from. For so many years I had stable relationships but they wouldn't work. I felt that until I finally had a healthy stable relationship I would not be able to organize anything else in my life. It was all in my head, like a curse. Often I thought it was silly of me to believe in love.. I had many definitions and explanations about it. However, the bottom line is that everybody needs to be loved and for me it was an impairment. I obsessively fought to save all my relationships even when I knew they were no good. I focused only in the good... Thankfully now I'm married and content. Now I have plenty other things to focus on, always making the best of my marriage of course.

It took me forever to get here but I see it as preparation, I'm not the person I was before and my life experiences shaped me into who I am today; and who I am today is the person capable to love and enjoy this marriage. Things happen in God's time. When we are prepared for our destiny...