Hi there, I am sorry you are going through crisis, but the way you found us, it is possible you can get professional help,eh?
You need to see a pdoc, even check in a hospital before you do "check out".
I do not mean to sound insultive in anyway, shape or form, I think if you were able to write this down, had the time to do so, you are also capable of calling a SI or suicide hotline for help or even 911.
I hope for your safety you will consider seeking professional help as soon as possible.
Please take care now,
DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON