Hey. I'm new here and you guys are probably sick of people adding new threads to talk about their issues - so, my bad. I just don't know how to use this just yet.
So I'm here because I'm sad. I don't wanna say 'depressed' because i can't diagnose myself. I'm just sad. Constantly. Daily. It's become a problem.
I'm down all the time and there's never a day I don't think of just killing myself. Over the past 3 months, I tried twice, but there was always something that stopped it. whether it was my cowardness or someone stopping me, o never went through with it. I don't know if that's a good thing, but I'm still living, so some people would say it is.
Just a brief summary of me - I wasn't abused and my problems are nothing compared to things I've read. So, I feel I have no excuse to feel this way.
I don't know what's wrong with me and I can't talk to anyone. The last time I tried telling a friend that i attempted suicide, she didn't take me seriously as this was my 4th suicide attempt ive had. like 'oh there she goes again, telling me about her sob story of wanting to die just to get attention' thats how i think she perceives it. obviously people dont want to hear other peoples problems, so I don't blame her subtle sighs whenever i did mention it.

I have nightmares almost every night. vivid, horrible nightmares. i hate sleeping. I dread going to bed every night. I wake up crying screaming in shock with the worst headache and feeling like i havent slept a bit. multiple times i had dreams where i killed myself. other days i wake up with the thought 'pick up a knife and slit your wrists' literally, those words are the first things i think of every other morning
I'm scared one day I do it. It's only been getting worse and I dont know where else to go.
I'm sorry for wasting your time with this. Any help would be of great help. thank you