Dear T:
I cancelled last week and this week because I am afraid of what you will see and I am not in a space to accept anything. Hope you understand that I can't talk with you right now but did send you a letter that expalins my fears, lonliness and sadness and the fact that I am afraid of how well you see through me. I am hoping you take the letter at face value and not try and make me deal with it. I do miss you, but fear your insight.
Thanks for being so compassionate and understanding and I hope shutting you out will not cause you to want to end with me.