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shortandcute · Jan 21, 2013, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M420

Why don't people with AvPD or Depression seek help?

I think it is different for everyone; but here is my story:
I grew up in an alcoholic home--both parents (they were addicts,too).
I was raised mostly by my mom--and she didn't give a rip about me, she just wanted me out of her face 'cuz she wanted her booze. My dad was the type that could not handle any one crying or needing anything--especially girls. We were "weak" if we cried, so I was pretty much on my own for a long time and didn't know what to do or what was wrong with me. Plus, during the '60's and '70's, people still didn't know a lot about this kind of stuff, so you just had to buck up or be locked up, with still no help.
Then I moved in with my sister and her husband at 16, and they were dead set against doctors. They believed that if I was in their sight 24/7 (except when I was in school), and if I stayed up all night reading the Bible, ate health food, and smoked enough pot, that I would be magically cured (we did eventually quit the pot, tho). After we quit the pot, I still was expected to read my Bible all the time, and then we started practically living at church. They could not understand why I wasn't magically cured, so they decided I was "living in secret sin," that I "broke my covenant with God," that I was rebellious, and/or hiding something from them, etc.
I spent the next several years thinking that my problem was that I was just not right with God, and if I could just find the right "formula" to make me a righteous Christian, I would be allright--but I could never find that right formula. Needless to say, I kept giving up and self-medicating by drinking and other things. Eventually, I did try to get some help, but then I decided that the mental health system was fake and went right back to just trying to a "be a better Christian," but I could not ever seem to get it right because my mental illness would just take over.
Basically, with me, in a nutshell, is I didn't feel like I was worth the doctor's time, and I thought it was just that I was a lousy Christian and God was unhappy with me.