I may have posted a thread here already..I don't know. Don't care to check. I don't know if I suffer from PTSD.. (I don't have a therapist, but I'm waiting to hear from one.) I went through a tornado a year ago. But I'm wondering if PTSD could be caused by being physically and mentally abused for a good 16+ years. My parents divorced because of it. I feel like I should be over the abuse, though. I still talk to my dad, see him every now and then. I work with him. He's okay now, although it's awkward to try and hold a conversation with him.

I'm always remembering these memories that I thought I have forgotten. Being bullied, things that were said to me, all of that. Whenever I get back from hanging out with a friend, I think of things that I said or did that sounded stupid and I feel embarrassed, stupid, and 'flinch' (not sure what word to use for it).

I'm tired of feeling like there's nothing left. Feeling empty. Isolating myself. I've lost most of my friends, I'm more distant with the few I have left. I feel so weak for posting this. I'm not in the army, I haven't seen anyone die. Why can't I get over it? I probably seem like I just want attention from all of my posts. Most of them have the same **** in them. I really don't know why. I don't know anything. Everyone would be better off without me around. Thats a fact. Don't bother replying, I know how stupid I sound.