I don't know what to do anymore. I started working on abuse issues with my T and I am feeling horrible. I am spiraling down into a depression. My T is also my pdoc, and he knows this. He is increasing one of my meds. I don't know if the depression is what I am talking about or just my cycle. It has been a while since I had a depression, so it's about time for me according to my cycle.

Now I am sleeping 16-18 hours a day, not leaving the house much, cutting, and thinking about suicide. I really want to drink, but I can't. I'm an alcoholic. Drinking always leads to an attempt. I am struggling to hang on. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if any of this is even worth it. I'm sorry guys. Sorry for being so pathetic.