{{{Woundedhearts}}}}

Sorry that you are suffering so with being in the then & now mode of processing traumatic experiences. It is a surreal existence, but also one in which you may be able to grow from as your system is opening up to you. It is a very confusing convergence of alter world reality, and current reality, so please be gentle with yourself, as your mind adapts to the sequencing which is occurring.

Yesterday during a session with T, we entered very scatter brained, well, even more than normal, LOL, but my memory processing felt like a book, with many pages blank, which had been left opened on a desk, a violent gust of wind was scattering the pages to and fro..I believe the term Rapid Switching comes to mind, the dissociative processing felt like a whirlwind…these times I loose track of him in the office..and he becomes an unperson, actually the whole office becomes an “un”..dont know where it or I go to be honest..but as the pages slowed I was talking to him and explaining how disorganized I was mentally, not feeling anywhere, speech was very ….well…yuck…when I started to be in two places…in his office..which was still kinda in an “un” place...a parking lot of a high school, also felt un..but more tangible..then a dog suddenly appeared next to the couch I was sitting on in his office..but was not..part of me was still standing in the parking lot still....told my T who I was not seeing more of like knowing not he was there...and that’s when it got weird..LOL…as being in separate worlds will do this to a person...

But anyway..long post short..it is a part of the processing of traumatic experiences..and very very confusing, and uncomfortable but can offer insight if your system is ready to incorporate the convergence of realities..it is a mixed enlightment of sorts...when you have a chance to learn and except, and validate your minds ability to heal itself…but with the gentle guidance of your Therapist…its not something you want to rush in and try to understand without a professional to help you process the impact the images and emotions the whole encounter has on you…and to monitor it’s incorporation into the self instead of the self(s)…because you are moving the memory from then to now and becoming co-conscious of your alter’s experiences..while horribly confusing, terribly uncomfortable and all the other emotions that exist there…you need all the support and guidance that professionals and your support system can offer..and what we can offer here…take care Dear Woundedhearts..be safe…gentle safe hugs..