Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflies Are Free
Well... This is a hard post for me to write because I feel some shame around how I feel. About two weeks ago, my T suggested a reduction in the number of times I see her a week. Although I agreed that this would be a good idea, I had a very strong reaction(anxiety) later. I have a great support system and even have ideas about what I can do with my "free" afternoon, but unfortunately, my old attachment/abandonment issues have been triggered and I feel embarrasses by that. I don't want to become overly dependent on my T but am not sure how to navigate this situation/these feelings. I was supposed to start this process two weeks ago but am now going to wait until Feb. My T said we would try it on a trial basis. Now, in the scheme of life, I realize I am "overreacting" to all of this and I was hoping some of you could "remind" me that I will survive. I will be better off in the long run but right now it feels a bit scary... Thanks!
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Wow I was just about to start a thread on this EXACT topic!! So I don't mean to hijack but I'd like to share what I'm going through too ... I also feel like I am over reacting ... I've improved so much over lately that today my T asked if I want to go back to one session a week from two. As soon as she said it I got defensive and said, all cool like, "yeah I think so, can't really afford twice a week anymore anyway".
What I was
really saying in my head was: "I had just begun to trust you and now you are insinuating that I don't really need your help. It makes me feel like you think I'm "cured" when I know I am not. We have only just begun scratching the surface of what is wrong with me, I am holding back on so much stuff because I have trust issues. But now I feel like you don't really care about me, that you don't want to see me, and now I don't trust you."
Part of me recognizes that these thoughts are absolutely an irrational reaction. But for some reason I feel hurt. I know I should talk to T about this because I realize it's not so much about the situation but that it's triggered some sort of past hurt (abandonment etc). But I find it virtually impossible to talk to T about things like this, when they involve my reaction to HER.
Butterflies,
please let me know how you go with this, how you are feeling etc ... do you think you can talk to her about how you feel?? I also feel ashamed for reacting like this
