Thanks for asking Wiki. A crazy roller coaster ride. I don't understand why T gives up on me (she says she doesn't, but really some of the things she's said ) when I'm trying my hardest and then when things fall apart, completely, totally, when there is no hope left...she listens to me and hears what I need. Since the first bad session I've had many times when she's heard me during one session, but then the one afterwards was so awful. So, she heard me today. Heard that I couldn't finish in 50 minutes after four years. We have three more appointments scheduled, though there will be three weeks when she's away in between two of them. I have no idea anymore. It means so much to me and I needed it not to finish in the way it seemed to be finishing...but perhaps it will still end like that. Hard to know what to expect next week. If the pattern since last October is anything to go by, I'll arrive back thinking there's a little hope, I'll be ready to work hard...and it will all fall apart again. Each time it does...worse things are said. Anyway, I'm rambling. It's a confusing mess. She didn't call me through until 10 minutes late (normal for her, but not since we've been dealing with such difficult stuff). So I guess for the first time in weeks, she made sure I had a very strict 50 minutes, despite the fact that she thought it was my last session. I was a shaking mess by the time she called me through. The wait, after predicting so much awfulness was just too much. Ugh.

Apt, I've been wondering how you got on too.