I am wondering how old this young man is. I think you are assuming he "knows what to say or do about this encounter". You said that it "didn't last long" and that he did hold you and ask you if you were "comfortable" and even "held you afterwards". But the two of you didn't really have a discussion afterwards, what "did" happen is you began to "feel guilty" and asked him to leave. Then, you texted him and said you "just wanted to be friends". To me that sounds like "rejection". And he could be feeling like "he was a sexual failure" somehow, because men "do" wonder about this.
And honestly?, it was over quickly, so he is probably feeling bad about not being able to have it "last longer". A young man can get so easily stimulated that they are "not able" to control themselves, and it can become "embarassing to them".

I am remembering a conversation years ago, that I had with a male friend. He asked me if he could talk to me about something personal and if I would promise not to tell anyone. I agreed and to my surprise he asked me how to tell if his girlfriend was satisfied with sex. He told me that she never gave him any indication she was, she just layed there and said nothing. Well, I sure was not expecting that question, and I was a "virgin" at the time so I didn't really know "what to say right away". It was not an "easy" conversation, but I respected that he felt it was "ok" that he could ask me. So, I encouraged him to talk to her about his concern and ask her if their encounters are something she is enjoying as well.

I can understand how you are feeling "guilty" or "awkward" yourself and the encounter more than likely did not give you "fireworks" either. Well, a successful "sexual" experience takes "time" to have and rarely can it happen in an encounter like you are discribing. And I am sure he feels just as awkward as you do about it, hense, his no reply. I really think he is taking that as, "you are a lousy lay" and that he failed somehow and you are just "letting him down as easy as you can".

It is better to be "honest" with him and just tell him that you are not "ready" for what you did with him, you should not have allowed it to happen, it was not his fault either. You realized that you were doing something you are just not ready to do and you don't have experience with it and it is better if you wait. Be honest that you were frightened and that is why you didn't know what to say right away either. You "can" say that he was nice to you, caring and gentle. You are just not ready to explore this kind of closeness yet in your life. But you hope that you and him can still be friends and talk to each other because you feel his is still a nice person.

This should really be done in person though, otherwise it will seem like a "brush off" and you decided you don't like him or didn't like the way he "performed" etc. Guys are just as sensitive about this as girls are, they just don't know how to talk about it.

Open Eyes