I've been married for 18 years and just over the past year have began to wonder if I am suffering from at least some form of emotional abuse. My husband often makes derogatory remarks (often sexually demeaning), criticizes me, and tells me parts of my body that need "improvement" (I'm 5'2", weigh 115lbs and workout all the time, so I feel he has no room to complain). He even complains about things that would require plastic surgery to fix, like my lips are "too thin" and I should do something to plump them up. I don't understand why he doesn't like me the way I am and it hurts.

He gets mad when I tell him that the things he says hurt me and often asks "can't you take a joke?" or tells me I am "overly sensitive".

He has had 2 affairs. One on-line and recently, a full-blown physical affair. He came clean on both of them. I allowed him to stay and now, even with some very mild improvements, I wish I would not have. I am also realizing that I must suffer from some sort of co-dependency to have put up with all of this for such a long time.

I have actually even told him that I believe he is emotionally abusive and he says "whatever". I have only recently began to tell him it's not okay to talk down to me and he has been doing better, but I feel like I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I kind of want out, but feel guilty as he has made a few tiny improvements. I feel bad for wanting to leave as I know he's not a terrible person in general, he just doesn't know how to have a healthy, committed relationship and doesn't seem to want to do what it would truly take to fix things. Yet, I'm just tired and feel like I don't deserve this garbage.

He does not engage much with our child either unless I press him to spend time with her and it's obvious that she resents him.

So, my question is this: Is this all some form of emotional abuse or something else?

Thanks,

Frustrated and Tired