((purpledaisy)) I completely understand how you feel. I have 1,000s of "great ideas", but so far, I have not been not dedicated enough to see any of them through to fruition. When I am depressed, my thoughts often follow the pattern yours are-what is the point, I'm never going to do anything meaningful, I'm never going to amount to anything, never will be worth anything, never will be successful.

This kind of hopelessness is very dangerous because it leads to suicidal ideation. All the times when I came close to ending my life, I had been feeling extremely hopeless. My psychopathology professor even said that suicidality is better predicted by the severity of a patient's hopelessness than by the overall severity of his/her depression.

Please, try to get better treatment so that you don't feel so hopeless. Let your pdoc know that this is a symptom that you will not tolerate. I'm in remission now, and let me tell you, there is nothing more beautiful than hope. You deserve to feel like your life can change in positive ways.