Thanks ladies! I appreciate your input. I need to finally take some steps to get myself mentally/emotionally healthy.

I think one reason I justify things is that they often get better for a while and then go right back to bad again. It's like being on a roller coaster. He seems to do better whenever he is afraid I will leave (as I have threatened this a few times), but the moment I relax and think everything is "okay", he goes right back to his old ways.

I know for a fact that I allowed him to stay after the 2nd affair for two reasons. One, I was scared to death of not having the means to provide enough financially for our daughter and two, I really thought I would be "the hero" and he would finally change because I am "such a good woman" for allowing him to stay. Sadly, some of the derogatory remarks actually got worse.

I feel that I need to give him the opportunity to go to counseling. Mostly because I know he will accuse me of all sorts of things and say I didn't give him a chance if I don't. Then, if he won't go to counseling or if he does go but still does not change, then I need to get the courage to leave. I know he will blame me and make it look like my fault to his friends and family. He has done this in the past when we have had issues, but I have to remind myself that this is simply not true, even though he has been very successful at making me feel like things are my fault.

One of the main reasons I have stayed is for our daughter. However, she actually told me recently that if I am staying for her sake, "please don't".

I appreciate your confirmation in my thoughts. Maybe things will finally turn around for me now... Any and all prayers are appreciated!!

God bless!