Thanks for your replies. Yes buy time I ought to try this but as we both know it is the pain I am craving but your right maybe I ought to try. And Sannah you too are right and I am working on this but it is taking longer than I thought and meanwhile the feelings are unbearable at times.
Do you think this is anything we ever can beat properly or if once we've done it it is a behaviour that is always there somewhere in the background ready to come back in times of extreme stress