hi just want to thank you for posting and reaching out for help. You are not wasting time, you are doing a good thing reaching out for help!Caring people have said many helpful things here, just want you to know that one more person cares, and we wouldn't read this if we worried about wasting our time. We want to help you and others, I wish I could help somehow. Let us know how you are today please? I've been feeling alot like this hell you describe, waking up with thoughts like that, not sleeping...please let someone know here how you are doing ok. reading your post has already helped me, ive seen some good advice because you posted. hugs to you.