yes, i can avoid her... been doing that for a couple days now. what went down was that she wants to hang out all the time. i've nicely explained i have bp and don't like commitments. i had this obligatory candle party to go to saturday morning with an old gf from childhood, i'm trying to mend that relationship. problem friend, we'll call her sue, insisted i bring her along. i said no, and i said no, and i said no. i went alone and it was a pleasant enough time.

she kept texting me while i was there, trying to pin me down for evening plans. i was really crazy down last week and finally listened to my msg's on saturday. heard the one from son's p.o that he tested dirty. i let sue know that just happened and i was not in a good mental state, and that i can't commit to plans.

i ended up meeting up with a lady i used to go to church with. we have troubled teens same age, same drug probs. she and i ended up going to a winebar near a shop she owns, delicious food, couple glasses of wine had me happy.

another very good gf of mine came by, it was her birthday. she had a special bday date planned with a guy she's been seeing for 20 years i've never met. she decided she wanted me to come with her up to SF and go to this funk concert with them if they can get me a ticket woohoo! they were able to get me a ticket, and offered to pay for everything, house overlooking ocean, guest bedroom. this was too fun to pass up.

so somewhere in there, i must've texted sue that i was at winebar come on by. cuz i called her to say i'm having change of plans and going to go with gf to the city, that im excited i got invited, sue laid into me yelling at me. said she's dying of loneliness, and how f'ed up how could i do this to her. i said sorry several times and finally, sorry but i gotta go click.

sue texted me, "this is so f'ed up. i would never do this to you!" i texted back, "im sorry i meant no offense to you, i had an opportunity and had to go with it."

she got the last word with, "good for you."

why can't she just be happy for me? i bought her a ticket to a concert last year, she left early because a man called her and wanted sex. she said she really needed it, so i said it's ok, go ahead, live it up, enjoy. why is she so nuts? i'm the bp one.

why am i still so angry about this stupid *****? i'm just furious at her about it. but maybe i'm the one at fault. i think everything else in my life feels like it's got me boxed in, and that friendship should not feel like that in addition. why does she have to try to control me?