Ahh OK I get it now.

You are absolutely correct. I am on my best behavior when w/ my H/ The kids and I have a great time be our authentic selves when he is not around.

He is just really intense to be around. He makes you nervous just being in his presence. He doesn't just make me and the kids edgy, the in home T we had said the same thing when she met w/ just him. His anxiety level and fidgeting made her nervous after awhile.