Hello,

I'm new here and am not quite sure how everything works yet but I figured I would start here since the nightmares I've been having seems to be the root of the rest of my problems. I really need some sort of feedback of any kind just to know someone is there.

I've had terrible extremely vivid nightmares ever since I was a really young child which have never gone away on any medication and only will subside after a night of heavy heavy drinking (which as you may guess has caused it's own set of problems). The nightmares get worse after taking any type of sleeping pill (I've tried hydroxyzine and trazedone to ill effect).
There are some periods of time where they get quite unbearable and I end up waking 3-9 times a night by getting woken up from the nightmares.
Most recently (the past 9 months or so) they have been really really unbearably awful and incredibly vivid. The main recurring themes have been cannibalism (usually forced self cannibalism in some way or another), rape, and torture by amputation. I've done a good job lately of not allowing myself to look or read anything scary or upsetting but they come anyway.

At this point of time (past two months) when I am able to fall asleep, I've been waking two or three times minimum a night crying or screaming which has caused me a lot of distress. I've developed some really bad insomnia along with it and have been experiencing some really concerning full blown psychotic breakdowns (disassociation, only speaking in numbers, visual hallucinations and manifestations of dream characters, violent actions, twitches) and extreme paranoia to the point that I check my door lock once an hour and have blocked my windows off. I also have tape over all electronic devices with webcams or places where people could be watching me from. These breakdowns have been becoming more and more frequent and I have them about twice a week. I can never relax and it's causing me such exhaustion. Even when I wake, I feel worn and scarred emotionally and physically.

I really think all of this is rooted in my nightmares and I can't stop it and it's getting unbearable. My doctor just put me on Seroquel and Zoloft (for other problems). I sought professional help and have not had any relief.
What are your thoughts about how these things connect to each other?