Mixedup I am the very same way. I was raped 20+ ago over the course of 9 mo every weekend and weekday that his need went unmet.

My marriage is unstable and verbal abuse and emotional are rampant. The T say's things are not s table enough to proceed w/ that right now. That was 4 months ago. Things are coming back to me and I need to deal w/ it and the T/ is still not sure it should be delt w/. So I write what I feel I need to tell her and she reads it. Then we apply it to how I feel in the relationship I am in w/ my H. She helps me deal w/ what comes up and has promised to always be available, but we will not be purposely digging around to dig up stuff, things are just to unstable right now.

I'm glad you wrote about that. It made me feel badly to be told things are so screwed up I can't help you in this area right now. That's screwed up. But now I feel badly for you but feel relief in the fact that I'm not the only one who has issues but can't work on them at the moment.