Yes beauflow, we do have "subselves", mudcrab's posted link is a good one to ponder.
We are all born with pretty much a clean slate for a "subconscious" mind. While we are all born with basic human charectoristics, and genetic profiles that may give us some "talents or traits", we all begin developing our "subselves/subconscious mind" in our early childhood. As in all animals, we do alot of "imprinting", where we take on the body language and expressions and tempermental tendencies of our caregivers and older siblings. We also can take on messages from what we watch on television, and we learn to look for and recognize expressions of "good, exciting, funny, sad, angry, scared, pain,fear,determination and even stress as well as depressive moods".

Personally, I have always believed that everyone has "an inner child" that is the base of how they learn/feel/interact their whole lives.

What you are discribing about taking on the dueling roles of parents who may express different/opposing views is probable too. If we interact with "both" parents and watch them interact with each other, we absorb those messages as well. This, ofcourse can be productive and helpful, or it can be problematic. If both parents are "nurturing and supportive" we have a much better chance of developing an stronger "subconscious" mind that can give us alot of "postive inner messages" and "stronger self esteem" senses that we can utilize all our lives.

Many people think that their reactions/decisions/abilities/opinions/emotions are simply "who they are" and "how they are meant to be" as individuals. In reality though, much of who we are depends on what kind of messages we received in our childhoods. And as that is "different" for each person, we become "unique" in many ways. While we are all human and have basic human traits, alot of who we are is based on the "subconscious" mind that took in many different messages in our childhoods that we tend to draw on and add information to all our lives.

When I developed PTSD, I was responding to a tramatic event where I had spent many years building up my own business with a number of horses and ponies I had trained that were suddenly damaged by my neighbor's dog. I had to suddenly address eight injured animals with all different kinds of injuries. I was all of a sudden addressing so much that I went into "hypervigilance" mode and I stayed in that state of mind for a few months until I became completely exhausted. I was overcome with so many emotions that I just could not function.

At first when I developed what is called PTSD, I had constant flashbacks of them choking, limping, colicing, a leg that was so swollen it was like an elephant leg, and a dieing pony with blood coming from her nose and me having to euthanize her after over a month of IV's and constant around the clock care.

But then, after a while I began to experience different flashbacks from my childhood too. And that is when I began to learn who OE was and why that goes all the way back to my early childhood.

When I watched the video that MudCrab posted, I could relate to everything this man was saying. I can see how we all as human beings develope what he calls "subselves" and many people don't realize how all these inner conversations that we all have with ourselves truely develope. That each person has an inner balance that becomes "unique" to how they see the world, their lives and all the inner discussions that take place where they constantly make decisions about handling "their life and all the challenges that are presented to them every day".

When PTSD takes place, a person has faced some kind of tramatic event/events that they begin to have such a sense of loss and confusion that the normal inner conversations that take place becomes confused and severely inbalanced. And in this struggle the ability to have a sense of balance is so disrupted that the person who suffers "withdraws" in confusion and experiences a strong sense of inablity to "interact" normally. There is such a strong sense that being able to explain this challenge to others feels nearly "impossible". The experience is also so confusing to the person who is challenged that often they become frightened and very confused themselves, and it doesn't take long for them to recognize that this present confusion can become "very crippling" all in itself.

I would have to say that one of the biggest challenges for someone who is struggling with PTSD is how others "fail to believe how they are really struggling".

One of my biggest ongoing messages to others that struggle is the developement of a newer strong self that begins to take on the leading/guiding role of "self nurturing".
This strong self is much more "conscious" and is willing to "observe" the inner challenges with understanding and empathy and be willing to have a sense of compassion and open mindedness inspite of this "inner confusion" that takes place.
Instead of saying to self that "I am the sum total of my past and all my subconsious messages that I have utilized and considered my "sense of self", a new message forms that says, "I am going to be open minded, observe all that I had thought was "self", see all the inner weaknesses and personal confusion, and develope a new understanding of self "inspite" of this confusion".

I feel that as we continue to understand how the human brain learns how to form what we call our "unique" identity? If we understand that what this man is talking about in this video clip is how we all learn how to process information, we can find new ways to "heal" when we struggle with many of the "psychological" disorders that take place. In many ways we "are" developing therapies that work on helping a person learn how to "correct their inner messages that are unhealthy". However, what can happen is if a patient is "unwilling to consider they "can" adapt new and more positive inner messages, therapy is not helpful. Much of that is due to their not seeing "immediate improvement".

What I have come to recognize myself is that when we begin to develope "any new skill" there is a time line to actually gaining this new skill so that we can tap onto it without needing to "carefully think about it". Well, with most human beings, seeing is believing. So, for some, unless they can "see how the brain slowly developes new pathways of information and skills, they will decide that what is already there is the only way they can think and process. But it isn't.

I realize my post is rather long beauflow, but I thought I would give you some thoughts to consider as you "investigate" this topic. As I have come to know you, and that you are challenged with PTSD, I also see you are putting forth a lot of effort in "your healing".

As far as your saying "we" when you were small, keep in mind that human beings do not form a sense of "one self" until around age 5. Just so you don't get confused and think you were not normal as a child.

Open Eyes